Are you thinking about quitting? Like, you really want to quit because your job is draining the life out of you?
I get it. I’ve been in that position too.
For decades, I worked as an HR leader. But eventually, I couldn’t ignore the screaming feeling that it was time to get out.
Before I could take action, my company let me go. I felt so relieved, and I saw the experience as an opportunity to finally start my own business as a career coach.
Now, after building a new career from scratch and coaching thousands of individuals through their own career changes, I’d like to share what I’ve learned about knowing when it’s time to quit without another job lined up.
You Should Quit Your Job If You Answer “Yes” to These 3 Questions
Let’s make this very simple. If you answer “yes” to the following three questions, you have a solid green light to move on from your job:
Is your job negatively impacting your mental health?
Have you put forth due diligence in improving your job?
Do you have a plan on what to do after you quit?
If you’re a “yes” to all three, you have my blessing to quit!
Let’s unpack each of these questions to help you decide if it’s truly the right move and, if so, how to do it as skillfully as possible.
Is Your Job Negatively Impacting Your Mental Health?
Nearly all jobs will have periods of stress, boredom, and chaos. So, it’s normal to experience moments of feeling emotionally taxed by your job.
But the real questions to ask yourself here are:
Will things get better, or will it always feel this way?
If things don’t get better, what will the toll on you be?
I have a client who was in a very lucrative research role. She took the role after being lured there by a very exciting pharmaceutical project. But she realized pretty early on that this job was far more political and stressful than she wanted.
She works 7 days a week 12- to 16-hour days. Hasn't had a full day off since she started. She can't keep up with her family, friendships, and her hobbies. Her health is deteriorating (her hair is falling out by the fistfuls).
She feels boxed in by the project. It is 12 months until it is transferred and launched. She just moved into her new pricey home with a steep mortgage. And even though she talks about quitting, she is unable to pull the trigger. She has grown to hate her work, despise her leaders, but can't get herself to quit.
I don’t want to see you fall into the same trap. And if you already feel stuck in a job you don’t want to be in (due to golden handcuffs or another reason), don’t worry. I assure you there is a way out.
If your work is harming your mental health, that is a good enough reason to move on.
Though sometimes it’s hard to tell if we’re blowing things out of proportion or not. To help you clarify your feelings, here are a few types of work situations that might be killing your mental health:
Type of work environment | What it's like to work there | How it makes you feel |
Burnout culture | You feel constant pressure to work more | Exhausted and stressed |
Authoritarian culture | Management rules with an iron fist | Fearful and unsafe |
Stagnation culture | There is no room for growth, so your wings are pinned down | Dissatisfied, depressed, and purposeless |
Chaotic culture | There is no semblance of organization and communication | Overwhelmed, anxious, frustrated |
Machiavellian culture | People gossip and play power games | Unsafe, mistrusting, isolated |
Do any of those feelings or situations hit home for you?
If working with your current employer is causing consistent negative feelings that impact your overall wellbeing, then it’s time to plan your next move.
(By the way, if you’d like to read more about how to tell if you have a toxic work environment, check out this article.)
Have You Put Forth Due Diligence in Improving Your Job?
As the saying goes: “There are three solutions to every problem: accept it, change it, or leave it.”
I assume you’ve been trying to “accept it” for a while now.
But before leaving, it’s worth exploring all of your options around changing your current situation.
Here are a few ideas:
Redefine your role. Ask your boss if you can take on projects that captivate your interest and cut back on responsibilities that are wearing you out.
Invest in professional development. Does your company offer mentorship or training? Having a mentor can give you a huge morale boost. Focusing on your development can bring more meaning into your work. You can also ask your boss for help building skills and advancing your career.
Set boundaries. If you’re in a consistent state of burnout, your best bet might be to set some harder boundaries. Talk with your boss about how much work you can reasonably handle and make clear limits for your evening and weekend availability.
That said, if you’re in an exec role, this may not be feasible. But I have seen execs hire their own Virtual Assitant to offload work. The company never knows about it. And they also become much better at delegating.
Negotiate more flexibility. Freedom in your work can improve your performance, productivity, and job satisfaction. Try asking for more remote work days, adjusted work hours, or even a four-day work week. And if you’re an exec, you can figure out ways to integrate time away from the office, like going to conferences and taking take sabbaticals.
Ask for a raise. It may come across as too aggressive to ask for a raise alongside the threat of quitting. But having an honest conversation about a pay increase is worth a shot (especially if you were planning to leave anyway). The salary increase might soften your unhappiness, at least for the short term.
Invest in your work relationships. Studies suggest that professionals are happier and more engaged when they have a best friend at work. What if you put more focus on turning work into a social environment that fuels you? You could even consider mentoring someone in your office, which can bring a new level of meaning to your work.
Seek a new role within the company. If your current role has a low ceiling, talk with your boss or a designated mentor or coach about finding other career opportunities within the company.
If you’ve either tried everything above or you don’t think these shifts would work in your particular situation, then it might be time to plan your leave. If you can stick around long enough to give a notice period, that will keep your bridges unburned.
Do You Have a Plan on What to Do After You Quit?
There is a rare time and place for rage quitting—if you’re really stuck in a toxic job and can find no other way to hoist yourself out, then storming out without a plan might be necessary.
But in most cases, having a plan for after you quit is crucial.
It’s the difference between reckless impulsiveness and thoughtful risk-taking.
Quitting without another job lined up can be terrifying (and exciting). It can feel like you’re jumping off the top of a building. Having a plan can ease your anxiety. It gives you a parachute and a place to land.
Here are a few considerations for your plan:
Figure out what you want to do. After you quit, do you want to stay on your current career path and find another full-time job at a better company? Or do you want to start your own company? Or do you need to take a break from the grind altogether to embark on a travel sabbatical?
If you can figure out your direction, everything else will fall into place.
(If you’d like some ideas on how to find your dream job, check out this article.)
Take a hard look at your money situation. How long can you live without any income? Keep in mind that it’ll cost money if you choose to buy your own health insurance.
The amount of financial buffer you have will dictate if you’ll need to apply for new jobs right away, or if you can take time to decompress.
It’s also worth considering any financial benefits tied to staying in your current role. For example, one client was ready to quit but was only 18 months away from receiving her full pension and medical benefits. I urged her to stay, and during that time, we focused on strategies to protect her well-being. She has since “retired” with full benefits—a decision she’s deeply grateful for.
Finally, think about if you’re willing to take any lifestyle hits to save a bit of money. Whether that’s moving in with your parents, renting a room from a friend, or pruning all of your subscriptions and memberships. Less expenses means more time to find another job.
Build out your financial cushion. In the US, the average length of unemployment is 23 weeks (at the time this article was published). Getting by for weeks or months without a paycheck can be challenging.
Would you be willing to stomach a few more months in your current role while you aggressively save money? It could give you a lot more freedom and ease if you can save up enough money to cover 3-6 months of living expenses.
As one example, I had one client who used to work as an actuary but knew he had to get out. Despite feeling absolutely done with his job, he decided to tough out just a few more months of work while living on an extremely frugal budget. He was able to pocket an extra $10k from those months that he used to fund a multi-month bicycle tour.
And that time off wasn’t just a break for him—it was essential for resetting his mental and emotional health, giving him the clarity and energy to figure out his next steps.
Alternatively, you could start a side hustle before you quit (EG, freelancing, consulting, or renting out a room on Airbnb) that can give you an income boost through the transition period.
And some folks take on a low-stress part-time job during their gap (like dog walking or gardening) just to put some dollars back in the bank.
Structure your weeks. So many of us take for granted the structure that a job provides. When that structure vanishes, it’s all too easy to flail aimlessly. The last thing you want is to quit your job, only to find yourself bingeing TikTok videos without a daily schedule.
Bringing some structure and goals to your days can ensure forward momentum. This could be something as simple as job search applications on Mondays, networking calls on Tuesdays, skill development on Wednesdays, etc.
Or if you need to take a break from work for a while to do some soul-searching, what type of break do you want to plan? Is it a trek along the Camino de Santiago? Is it auditing some philosophy classes at the local university? Or maybe it’s moving to France to work as a barista while you write a novel.
Making these plans before you quit will help you hit the ground running and make the most of your time.
If You’re Going to Quit, Don’t Go at It Alone
Quitting a job without a backup can be challenging. It can give rise to surges of anxiety, questions around life purpose, and huge shifts to your identity.
But if the alternative is slowly pouring your life down the drain at a job you hate, then the decision is a no-brainer.
So, what’s the best way to get through the emotionally difficult parts?
Social support. Rely on friends, family, and colleagues.
And, frankly, if you can afford it, hiring a career coach is one of the best moves you could make.
If you aren’t certain if you want to quit or not, a career coach can give you the context to make the best decision possible.
Further, career coaches can help you clarify what you really want out of your career and then help you take the right steps to get there. They are a constant ally in your corner, encouraging you through the dim times and celebrating you in the bright ones.
If you’re interested, just fill out this form, and I’ll pair you with a few coaches from the International Association of Career Coaches. Then you can reach out to any of them who you feel drawn to.
Best of luck!
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